Originally this blog was setup to be about my weightloss. However, since that’s pretty much been at a stand still for about a year, I figured I’d talk about one of the main reasons as to why it has stalled out. My back.
I’m not writing this to make you feel sorry for me. I’ve actually had requests from people to explain what’s going on and help them get a better understanding. Also, I know that my back is something that I tend to bitch about a lot and if you don’t know the why, you might just think I’m just bitching for the sake of bitching.
Diagnosis:
I’ve always had a “bad back” but in August 2008 things took a definite turn for the worse. Long and painful story short I have 2 majorly herniated discs, 1 minor and 3 other discs that have degenerative disc disease to the point that one of them might as well not be there. These are all in my lower back…although occasionally my upper back decides that it wants in on the fun as well.
Surgery? They can fix everything these days right? NOT! Basically after multiple consults, MRI’s other weird tests, etc. the best NeuroSurgeon in the area gave me a 50/50 shot that surgery would actually help relieve my pain and about a 50% chance that I would lose some control of my bowels or have some level of paralysis….so yeah, NOT worth the risk.
What does this mean?
So what does that mean? Well, that means for going on 3 years now I’ve lived with daily pain. There’s never been a single day that I haven’t been in pain…the only difference is the varying levels of the pain. I’ve gone to countless doctors, hospitals, specialists, physical therapist, chiropractor’s and massage therapists. All of the docs hoped that the weight loss would greatly help my back…but alas, not so much. While it has made it easier for me to get around and move and put less pressure on my back, I’ve also now added on a lack of a butt which has made sitting very painful at times. My tailbone seems to bruise easy.
It also means that I have a lot of trouble with my day to day life. Basically I cannot stand or sit for more than 20 minutes without paying a large toll. Luckily my job allows me to work from home half of the time, and I greatly appreciate that especially since I usually have to have at least one day to recover from going into the office.
Types of pain:
I have basically 3 main types of pain associated with this injury. While most of the time the pain is on the right side, when it’s really bad it is on both right and left.
- “back pain” – usually this is focused on my right side and radiates from the spine and out to the right and down into the buttocks. The muscles in my lower back and buttocks will get extremely tight and no amount of massaging, rubbing, tens unit, hot baths or muscle relaxers help.
- Sciatica – this is a throbbing pain and numbness that goes down past the hip into the legs and all the way down to the toes at its worse. While this is very painful at times, it is truly the most annoying of the pains because even though it will hurt in the legs and feet you know that the source of the problem is the back.
- “My Butt Hurts” – or Coccyx pain – at first I thought I was just being silly, but now its gotten to the point that I cannot sit for more than 20 minutes without having severe pain. This makes driving to work (a 45 minute drive) damn near unbearable some days.
The Treatment: Or the answer to “What are they doing about it?” or “When will they fix you?”
Pain Management:
Drugs:
Percocet: been on these since almost the beginning although my dosage ranges depending upon pain levels, etc. On good days I take as few as 2-3 a day. On bad days its 1-2 every 4-6 hours.
Flexeril: yeah, my pain management doctor refuses to give me any other type of muscle relaxer and these don’t really do much anymore but if my muscles are spazing they can help a bit.
Lidoderm Patches: While I do have a script for these and they do help take a bit of the edge off…at damn near $300 for a box of 30, this is a luxury that I can’t really afford most of the time.
Tried but not dice: Several types of nerve pain medications and Cymbolta
Before my gastric by-pass, I was also on a daily NSAID, but thanks to the surgery, I cannot take NSAIDs anymore.
Injections:
I’ve had a number of type of pain management injections. These typically are a mixture of drugs and steroids. Most of these go into the spine and yes, they’re pretty much as painful as you would image a shot in your spine to be. I’ve tried several different types of them some work better than others and some hurt more than others.
These usually knock me out of commission for 3-5 days and for best results I usually have to go through 2-3 rounds of the injections.
So far the injections that have worked the best for me are the kind that focus on getting rid of the sciatic pain. For which I usually see about a 40-65% decrease in frequency and severity of the sciatic pain.
These injections can be repeated every 6 months.
The lovely side effects:
The immediate: pain…pure unadulterated pain. Surprisingly my body doesn’t really like having a giant needle and a massive amount of drugs shoved into its spine! So for 3-5 days post injection, I pretty much want to die.
The joys of steroids: these are strongest for the first month or so after the injection but linger around. Hot flashes, HUNGER – like the kind that makes you want to go on a rampage and eat everything in site, mood swings (yes, just what I needed when I’m already on Zoloft thanks to the pain causing depression) and blood sugar levels going wonky.
Nerve Burns:
Radio frequency ablation – this is where they use radio frequencies to burn off the ends of the nerves around the joints in the spine. This gives about 75% relief to my back pain for 6 months or more. I had this first down about 7 months ago and having it done again this Friday.
The procedure: by far the most painful thing I’ve ever gone through in my life. You’re laying on the table and get to feel them burning off your nerve for 90 seconds for each nerve. Last time they did 5 of them but had originally scheduled 8. But my body just couldn’t take any more and she was having to stand by with the smelling salts cause I was gonna pass out at any moment.
The recovery for this is also a bitch and a half. I literally cried the entire ride home and no amount of Percocet, muscle relaxers or sleeping pills could get me through the next few hours.
The good: after the recovery, I get my life back! I get to be able to sleep for more than a few hours each night, (normally I wake up when the pain pills wear off)….I can go do simple things like grocery shopping, or watch a movie or even go out to eat without wanting to die by the end of the meal!
So, in summary:
I hurt, every day with no exception.
The amount I hurt varies, so I do have some good days and some bad days. You can usually tell when the bad days have been too much for me.
Every 3 months or so, I’m getting something done…either an injection to calm down the sciatic pain or a nerve burn to calm down the actual back pain.
I’m on Percocet every day. Does that make me a drug addict? NO. Has my body built up a tolerance and/or dependence upon the substance…probably. But until you live with my pain and until you can give me a better alternative to taking the medication that I need to get through my day-to-day life I’ll very impolitely tell you to keep you opinions to yourself.
Alternative treatments: yes, I’ve done research on everything from inversion therapy to acupuncture. Bottom line – nothing is guaranteed and everything costs. Some more than others.
Who’s been amazing through it all?
TISH! She has truly been my god-send during this whole thing and I honestly don’t know if I would be here today if she hadn’t been there for me.
My boss: allowing me to work from home, take the time off needed to go to all of the doctor’s appointments, the recovery, etc.
Laura and Katie at work – Laura is always there to lend an ear and support and Katie also has chronic back pain so she understands.
And of course all of my friends and family. Whether its just words of encouragement or understanding when I can’t do something or go somewhere because I’m having a bad day, it really does mean the world to me.
Are there some people that haven’t been understanding? YES. At first I would get upset. Whether it was a co-worker who would get mad at me for not being able to do something or even my own doctor accusing me of being a drug dealer…I’ve tried really hard to not let it get to me. Some days are easier than others, but I’ve learned to take things one day at a time.
I’ve also learned to say when enough is enough. It doesn’t work for me to push myself beyond my limits just to then be in horrible pain for the next few days. This means that both in work and personal life, I have to make some tough choices sometimes. I can’t do everything I want to do…but it does make me appreciate the good days, good times and good friends in my life.
Any questions? Feel free to ask!
I LOVE seeing the changes. Its like I KNOW that I’ve lost weight but still often see myself as the fat girl. I’m starting to look less like the fat girl and more like a normal sized human being.
Oh and was sooooo happy that the doc finally took me off the prilosec and the potassium! Wooo hoo.
